Have you ever stopped to think about why you are doing the things you are doing. For example why do you dress the way you do, why do you have the hairstyle you have, why do you work where you work, why do you present yourself to the world the way you do.

It’s human nature to want to be accepted or to fit in or to live the role you feel you deserve but it doesn’t always pan out that way and we find ourselves frustrated and upset.

It dawned upon me that we often make the choices about ourselves based on an outcome we expect (and there isn’t anything necessarily wrong with that on the surface) however when the outcome we hope for does not happen we get frustrated and upset.

I think we often let outside influences / opinion or the need for acceptance determine who we are and how we present ourselves. And often the people you are trying to impress by being who aren’t don’t care.

I’ve come to a point where I feel that I need to be true to who I am, in the way I present myself. My goal is to really focus on consistently presenting my authentic self to the world despite what people may think or say. Often when we present an inauthentic representation of ourselves we attract things, people, jobs and circumstances that are not authentic to us and not what we truly want. Things and people which/who are not a good fit for us. Then you find people saying “the people around me are fake” but that’s only because you might have presented a fake version of yourself.

A few years ago I knew a young man who used to dress the part and act the part of a well established, successful and accomplished guy when in reality he was just trying to make it and was truly struggling but you would never think that by the way he dressed where he lived or the car he drove. Eventually he attracted what he was hoping for a young lady who looked flawless, lived in a amazing home, drove a beautiful car. The relationship blossomed and this was the most perfect “looking” couple. After a few months their true authentic selves began to show. The young lady soon discovered that this guy could not keep a job, his finances were a mess, he didn’t have money at all, he hadn’t paid his rent for months and he was facing eviction from his luxury apartment.  He didn’t have a job he was some kind of hustler making money here and there in random ways. The little money he made he clearly used to look the part, so he could attract a certain type of person(her). She in turn worked at the mall but dressed like an executive business woman, her place was paid for by her parents, she hadn’t finished school and was looking for a rich guy to support her so she too dressed the part to attract that rich guy. Not saying either of them were bad people. There have been cases where this fake it till you make it works out but often it doesn’t not work long term. All this to say you attract what you present. There is nothing with putting your best foot forward as long as it is who you are.

I saw a post on face book recently which i had to share which said “You are not for everyone” and thats ok. At times it doesn’t matter how smart you are, how educated, accomplished, qualified, good looking or well dressed people may not accept, hire or want you but as long as you stay authentic, and true to who you are regardless of whatever that is, you will draw the right things to you…the things, people, job, partner that is meant to be for you…because that which belongs to you can never be taken from you. -Shay Leonora